The Ugly Truth Series #5 - Sorry Not Sorry
The fifth in a series of illustrated truths gathered over 16 years - an entirely honest and personal project.
“If Facebook demonstrates that everyone is boring and Twitter proves that everyone is awful, Instagram makes you worry that everyone is perfect – except you.”
Alex Hern, The Guardian
Ain’t that the truth?
I look at my Planoly and see reams of images, doodles, sneak peaks, work and ‘ramblings’ - stuff I’ve idly jotted at 11pm on a Wednesday night whilst watching The Handmaid’s Tale (I’m only on season one - don’t spoil it for me). Weird statements, thoughts - musings if you will. Some of which I think, have valid points - some are just rants. Content some might say.
Yet I’ve been in a state of utter paralysis to post most of it for months now.
It’s like looking at all the clothes in your wardrobe and feeling like you’ve got f**k all to wear. (If you know me, this is what nightmares are made of 😱)
Since exactly when did owning a phone and a social media account become such a fucking responsibility? When was my lens unknowingly skewed to ‘content creator mode’? When did this all become such a thing?
The Ugly Truth
When perceived popularity is based on likes and shares - success often spoken of in the currency of followers. Just how many of us are holding a little bit of ourselves back for fear of it not being ‘just so?’ or being rejected outright?
Recently the brilliant @lisacongdon wrote a post about her relationship with Instagram and what a good tool it has been for her and how she feels it’s changed and her - quote ‘unwillingness to post content that feels inauthentic because it garners more views’.
I hear you, Lisa. 🙌🏼 It’s good to know not everyone is naturally comfortable putting themselves out there on social platforms in ways that feel conflicting to them.
Don’t get me wrong - if you love nothing more than a current tik-tok trend and playing with reels - fill your boots. But what if it feels like that’s not who you are? What if it feels like you’re selling your soul?
I’m in this latter camp. With what feels like only 0.1% of the World.
I’m so grateful I grew up in that last slither of 90’s/00’s. I didn’t have a mobile phone until I was 16. We’re the lucky ones as far as I’m concerned. Those were the days when I didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought of me because it wasn’t digitally judged.
Then there’s the stuff I do share, and the fear of the potentially damaging effects that posting the ‘wrong’ content can have on my business.
The shot of me in my dressing gown and infra-red face mask on, an overshare?
- Might freak male clients out - not relevant for them?
A post of me ranting about something just like this and full of fucks?
- Hmm not super professional, is it? Might put some prospective clients off.
Pictures of guinea pigs with awesome hairdos?
- Might piss off the rodent haters. (Though if you hate guinea pigs frankly, I don’t want to be hanging with you anyway)
And so on.
Not only does this constant narrative play on but my angst about promoting myself too.
Testimonials - showing my successes and wins.
- Does this make me look like a billy big bollocks for posting this?
New client win - I should toot my own horn, but…
- Oh here she goes again…
These thoughts tend to marinade in my mind and turn into a bad tasting recipe until the paralysis sets in. Then it’s all off the boil. Paralysis served.
The fact is, you can’t do it all. And you can’t win ‘em all either.
Over the last few months, I’ve felt so bombarded with content and at such conflict of what I want to post myself vs what i ‘think’ I should post, its driven me insane. And it is bloody EXHAUSTING too. It takes the fun out of it when IG (my platform of choice) gives me cold sweats.
And this paralysis has the potential to damage my business - preventing me from showing up and expressing myself. Bugger.
I’ve decided. I’m prepared to fall behind the trending curve – there are some things I’m just not willing to do for the sake of a reel or for reach. I’ll have a dabble at bits, maybe. But if you see me pointing into thin air at captions - you have permission to slap me and call me a hypocrite. I just don’t want to and that should be enough of a reason. I fear digitally it might make me rather one dimensional - but at least my vibe is authentically me.
So, I’m here to declare that from here on in - I say fuck* it. You’ll take what I give you insta. And if you don’t like the occasional magnificent guinea pig hair-do then please kindly jog on.
Three things I remind myself to get past IG paralysis: 💥
🤮 There’s a difference between pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and pushing your fingers down your throat. If it feels like the latter - it’s not for you lovey, move on. There’s things I don’t want to do and that’s just fine.
🐑 Don’t be a sheep. You don’t have to follow the crowd or be a slave to a trend. (That’s all they are y’know, trends. I mean, there was a time when we all wore matching shell suits. Doesn’t mean we looked good.)
🦄 We’re not saving lives here. At the end of it all - it’s an app, a tool, just one facet of a bigger World of opportunity. The World spun without it, something will probably one day replace it - it’s not life and death.
*Apologies for hitting a five f**k** total. **oh crap
******** Illustration my own ********