June Intuition + Visionboard
2021 was about Intuition. A single word designated as a compass to help me manifest my goals and direction.
intuition: noun the ability to understand something instinctively, without the need for conscious reasoning. "we shall allow our intuition to guide us"
Ever felt that you are trying to improve yourself in so many ways that the sheer awareness of the self-improvement in itself becomes epic? Or is it just me?
The purpose of writing this blog (other than getting my crazy musing out on paper) was to help me align and focus on areas that were intuitively calling to me - and it’s helped me hugely. But it’s also made me see how much I’m trying to achieve in so little time and simultaneously.
So as we’re halfway into the year (How the F**k did that happen?) it’s a perfect point to pause and take stock of what’s working for me and what isn’t.
Throughout the first half of this year there’s been some key themes:
Health (Jan, April, May)
Space (Feb, Mar)
Boundaries (Feb, April)
Balance (Jan, May)
Permission (Mar, April)
Not much eh? I was bloody naive to think that these would come easily after identifying and beginning the steps to act upon them. Committing isn’t an issue - as I’ve a strong work this and pretty strong willpower. But I’ve found I’m actively adding to the load as I begin these practices - and in so doing unconsciously running several work streams or threads at once.
That’s a lot to keep up to and hold myself to. Then I wonder why my head feels full.
Some of these intuitive callings have fast become habitual. What is it they say? 90 days to create a habit? I’m taking positive steps in my skincare. If you’ve seen my storm trooper mask you’ve seen the commitment - it’s gotta be done and you’ll not be laughing at me when I look 20 years old at 70 btw. Upping my exercise and sleep has been working and in itself is making a real difference. My mental health benefitting massively.
But what I found isn’t working is the timescales and volume I’m placing on myself. Exposure to inspiration is a fine balance. The negative side that it is making me compare and feel anxious at what I still have left to do, want to pursue or achieve myself which feeds this volume. I’ve got to get back in my own lane. But out of my head too.
I’ve unsubscribed from a number of emails which were signed up to with good intention but currently only serve as a reminder to me what I’m not achieving or yet begun. Not healthy and when there’s so much of everything out there it’s easy to become overloaded by it all. I want to continue to be inspired by people and their journeys but I’ve had to say ‘fuck it’ - it can’t happen all at once. And when the time comes,I will actively pursue this content at my own pace.
I must remind myself no one else everything it all at once either. It’s the dark side of existing with the online World - where you’re bombarded with hundreds of insights and offers a day that get out into one collective being of achievement and action outside of yourself. And with an active mind and imagination paired with my desire to conquer the world means seeing this information is triggering me in so many different directions during the course of my day I can’t keep up with it. To the point where I’ve been up wide awake at 3am. Info and idea overload.
This in itself goes against my commitment to sleep better. Theres a clash right there.
When I begun creative business coaching sessions with pal, collegue and all round amazing woman @lauren.osullivan_ she picked up on a heavy dose of cognitive dissonance in the way I was thinking. After only two sessions together this became apparent and was making it way harder to nail down my thoughts and beliefs. What I wanted but felt I didn’t have permission to have and what I thought I should be doing. Hello frustration.
The term cognitive dissonance (1) is used to describe the mental discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes. People tend to seek consistency in their attitudes and perceptions, so this conflict causes feelings of unease or discomfort.
Nine months down the line and I’m working to actively reduce this. What I thought Hello Katy would or should be is entirely different to what I want it to be. And by aligning myself intuitively I will achieve that I thought I couldn’t. (and maybe World domination)
So this month is one of reflection.
What works for me:
Structured days that aren’t full time weeks.
Days and time days ooo (out of studio) refresh my brain and my creativity. I was full time+ over winter and in spring brought this right down. I’ve had a few busy weeks recently and have quickly seen how it starts to compound my angst. Because in my heart of hearts - full time and manic is not where I want to be. I used to feed off the buzz and the pressure in my old working environments - it drove me. But no longer. I LOVE going for a run at my leisure in the middle of a day and having free time to think and imagine. I love being my best for clients because I’ve taken the time to rest to be my best. Rest to be the best - remember that.
Considering health as an important facet of my business.
Basic really isn’t it? Knackard, overworked or over-stretched me = lesser impressive work. I like to be impressive and at the top of my game. So I gotta look after me.
For years I ignored this and it’s not worked out well - a back that gets so solid from sitting at a screen I can barely move. Not cool. So if you see my insta now theres a smattering of my out and about attempting to be healthier - trying to run usually. For ages I agonised whether this was interesting or not to my IG feed or appeared like work wasn’t a priority or important to me - but the fact it is it’s an element of how I mean to exist - so therefore it’s true to me and my business.
Giving less of a f**k
Tough one this and feeds into what I’ll say in a moment about social media. To expand myself I need to come within a little and not be looking out there at what everyone else is at. It’s too damn distracting and can knock me off course too easily, filling my head with shit that doesn’t need to be in there. I thought I needed to present myself in a certain way to be seen as professional, serious or committed or obtain work. Fact is, I don’t. I’m me and this is how I roll. Deal with it.
Saying NO. (But thank you)
As someone who likes to please everyone. INFJ personality right there (2). I know it’s literally impossible. I’m fortunate to have bookings and clients running into Autumn. I cant say yes to everything (even though I tried my damnest to at the start). So I’ve begun to be far more conscious about what I’m accepting and committing to. Does it feel right? See the last post below in this blog for more.
What doesn’t work:
Subscriptions to numerous blogs, creatives, coaches - it triggers the f**k outta me and isn’t helping me stay in my own lane. However the theme might sound relevant or well intentioned and helpful they currently are too many sat in my inbox and I’m overloading myself with additional thoughts and ‘to do’s’ I don’t need right now. I’m Consciously uncoupling’ from noise. Cheers for that inspo Gwynny.
Too much social media - it’s an amazing tool for work, showcasing and connecting. And I mainly use it to chat with a brilliant community I’ve grown close to over the last few months of other designers and businesses. We check in with each other, chat about the ups and downs and sometimes a friendly voice in the day is enough to feel connected to the outside World. Working for yourself can be a little isolating and a little too in your head at times. But seeing shitloads of content from others can lead to feelings of underachievement, inadequacy and even make me question my own methods and my direction. No thanks. Let’s keep my eyes on my prize.
Accepting work out of my niche/thang
I’m a well-rounded designer after being around the block a bit. But the thing that really tickles my pickle is working in my specialisms. Work that is outside of this needs to be kept to a lower ratio to maintain my happy work balance. I’ve considered and referred work onto other designers that are better suited and enjoy it more - giving me a fuzzy feeling of helping a client and a fellow creative. Leaving me to conquer the World on what I’m best at.
So going forward my focus areas might be a little more streamlined and I don’t think this is going to do me any harm at all.
See you next month x
June in Reflection
I’ve literally hauled my ass to the end of this month. As I intended and marked out time to slow down, my body beat me to it and floored me for a few days - devoid of energy and spirit. Take note of what your body is saying to you. Long headaches and fatigue mean you need to chill the f**k out.
I’m coming out of the other side now feeling brighter and ready for the next half of the year. As I’ve reflected on all the things that do and don’t work for me, I’ve purposefully begun a summer slow down for myself. Meaning I’ll be working much less over the summer months and is all part of the aim to work seasonally. This is the beta-testing phase of it. So we will see how it all goes…
*****
Refs:
(1) More on cognitive dissonance here:
https://www.healthline.com/health/cognitive-dissonance-examples
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/326738
https://www.simplypsychology.org/cognitive-dissonance.html
(2) Don’t know you’re personality type? You’re missing out!