Fuck you, fear.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently. Fear: where it comes from and what it makes us do (or not do). 

I’ve always erred on the side of caution. When I was a nipper I wasn’t one of the brave ones. I was a homebird. I didn’t naturally adjust to change, in fact it scared me – leaving me feeling unsettled and isolated. Like I was the only one feeling that way, and totally alone with my decision-making blues.

I’m still like it now, to be fair.

As I signed the contract for my new studio space (yey me!), I almost didn’t. For the fear. 

Over the years, the fear factor has had both positive and negative effects in my life. It’s kept me safe when something has felt off. It’s kept me focused and made me consider all of my options rather than mindlessly making reckless decisions on a whim. 

“How many opportunities have I missed because of fear?”

But it’s held me back in many ways too… 

It kept me home when I could have gone out exploring and sharing new experiences (though hearing about the Ibiza-2001-gals-hol, I genuinely believe I dodged a bullet there...).

It’s made me hold in my opinions and bite my tongue when I should have roared them aloud. All for the fear I’d look stupid or others would mock me. 

Though I know many of my clients will contest my ability to ‘hold in’ my opinion, it really  has taken a lot of effort to push aside my fear of being outspoken. It’s not a comfortable feeling. 

I overthink because of fear. How many opportunities have I missed because of fear?

All this ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ talk is nice, but it’s not that bloody easy. Is it, love? Nobody told you how to break it down and push through it – or even how to start.

In a digital world full of ballsy affirmations, it’s really easy to feel like you’re falling short of the mark because of your fears and self-doubts.

Even this post you’re reading, it felt uncomfortable to let it out – but it is cathartic. And if just one other person relates, that’ll do me. 

So, fear. It’s a natural part of life. And it’s totally fucking normal. Take what you need from the positive affirmations but don’t punish yourself for feeling the fear.

“It can be healthy to tell it to f**k off every so often though.”

It can be healthy to tell it to f**k off every so often though. Just by writing this, I’ve faced yet another fear and managed to get through it. And you can too. Just remember that we all have these feelings at times, forgive yaself and keep going. You got this.